3 Ways To Make Your Minnesota Christmas 100% More Metal
It’s been said that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year (many people are saying this!). But is it the most metal time of the year? Unfortunately, it is not.
For the Z-Rockers looking to give their holidays a big ol’ kick in the pants, here are 3 easy tips to have the Most Metal Minnesota Christmas Ever. For legal reasons, I probably need to point out that you shouldn’t try these at home. *cough*
- Tackle A Christmas Tree Like You’re Kiefer Sutherland
That is never not cool.
- Go Door-To-Door Christmas Moshing
Christmas Caroling is soooo 1734. And if you’re me, it’s also really, really awkward and uncomfortable when a bunch of strangers knock on your door and start singing stuff at you. No thanks!
*slowly closes door*
But if I opened my front door to find a bunch of metalheads blasting Slayer and having a random mosh party outside my house? I’d totally join in.
3. Have Your Kids Leave “Santa” A Six-Pack Of Beer And Some Cheese Popcorn…Also Some Pizza And Let’s Go Ahead And Make That A 12-Pack
They want to get their presents, right? Don't be ungrateful, kids. Traveling around the world delivering toys takes a lot of work. The fat man deserves a cold one. (Don’t pass out under the tree)