Running has countless benefits — it’s good for your health, your heart, your stress levels and might even increase your lifespan. Too bad almost every runner is a massive jerk.
An estimated 7 million people participate in some form of running for exercise each year, which means, we’re surrounded by at least 7 million aholes who make the sport seem so damn obnoxious. That’s probably because it is obnoxious.
Here are thirteen reasons most runners are jerks. Don’t worry, they won’t be offended, they are out running and won’t have time to read this article.
They run through and around traffic and really don’t care about the rules of the road
They brag about losing toenails and bloody nipples are ACCEPTABLE
Running on crowded sidewalks is common as long as you don’t get in their way with your “walking”
Runners love to sticker brag how far they’ve run…ironically stuck to the back of their cars
The entire sport is based on being selfish and alone
When a race is over, every runner gets a medal. Medals. For everyone. Grown people with medals
Not EVERY runner can pull off running shorts but EVERY runner tries
The sport is so boring they need gimmicks to make it entertaining
Don’t plan on runners doing anything on a weekend, they’ve got a race (or need to train for one)
Runners think other people care about their times. Even other people interested in running don’t care about their times
They invite people to WATCH THEM RUN
Races shut down major streets for hours, but it’s cool, no one else was going anywhere today
“Did I mention I went for a run today? How many times? Here’s one more mention..”