Whenever a news story starts out with a suspected criminal declaring, "I am a cat!" I sit up and take notice. So, thanks, Wisconsin, for making my day.

It all started around 11:30 at night, April 7th, in Brookfield, Wisconsin. The police checked on what they were told was a body under a tree in the Beverly Hills Kark tennis court. They tried the wake the guy, and he said he was a cat and meowed at him.

Unfortunately for him, Graden Gibson, 20, was not and is not a cat, and so could be charged with misdemeanor bail jumping, disorderly conduct, and obstructing an officer.

How do we KNOW he's not a cat? According to Milwaukee's CBS 58 News,

The officer tried to ask Gibson what was going on but he would not answer. When asked how much he had to drink the night before, Gibson said "not enough."

 

No cat would ever admit to failing at a task.

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